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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Then there's the old town square – Rathausplatz. This place is buzzing with history and local color. Once in a while, I get a minute to mash my fingers in the soothing park next door, Grünquartier, where soft grass and overgrown trees seem like they’re trying to tell a mystery story. I always joke, “I can see Russia from my house!” even though it’s totally an exaggeration, but you know – the local vibe makes me feel all dramatic sometimes.

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