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About Dusseldorf

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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I'll admit, I'm a bit mad sometimes. The city hushes when it rains. Ugh, drizzly days make me grumble. But then, I'm reminded: "That’s our universe, right?" See, WALL-E reminded me: "EVE, I dote on you!" Even if EVE is not here, it's all cosmic love, man.

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