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Lemme tell ya, I got mad once – saw this chick, couldn’t’ve been 19, heels wobblin’ like a drunk giraffe. Made me wanna scream, “Get a real job!” But then I’m like, who am I to judge? Don’t pee on my leg with that “they chose this” nonsense – half these girls got no choice, trapped like Ida’s aunt in that movie, chasin’ ghosts. “You’re a slut,” she’d spit at herself in the mirror – harsh, but real.

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Let me tell ya something personal. Running a spa in this town means I see all kinds of wannabe yogis and stressed-out office peeps. Some days are brilliant, like when I catch a glimpse of the sunrise on Hotelstrasse, but other times, man, I get so mad when people forget the fine art of chillin’. And did I mention the local neighborhood, Alt-Zusmarshausen? That place is banter central – crammed with murals painted by local legends. Each wall's a story, like, “Man, you tough? Then survive the daily grind here, man!”

German official opposes tariffs, calls for stronger economic ties with China