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What gets me mad? Liars, bro—sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—pisses me off! Happy? When it clicks, like—BOOM—chemistry’s poppin’. Surprised? This one dude I heard ‘bout—he sex-dated his lab partner, accidentally made a baby—talk ‘bout a biochemical reaction! Dr. Evil—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—loves that twist, pure evil genius!

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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some downright odd things – and trust me, runnin’ a massage joint in a town like this gives ya stories for days. One time, a local granny, bless her heart, came in complainin’ her muscles were tighter than a drum. I cracked a few jokes – “Honey, life’s tough, but our muscles ain’t gotta be!” And she laughed so hard, I nearly spilled the massage oil everywhere. Ain't that somethin’?

Coronavirus memorials will be created. The real issue is how we want our losses remembered.