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About Dusseldorf

What pisses me off tho—shady parlors scammin’ folks. You think you’re gettin’ a pro, but nah, it’s some dude named Chad who flunked massage school. Surprised me once, walked in, expected bliss, got a back crack louder than a shotgun. “Lord, what’ve I done?” I muttered—straight outta *Ida*, that line. But when it’s good? Man, it’s like angels singin’—stress gone, soul floatin’. I ain’t lyin’, had one sesh where I damn near cried, felt like a kid again.

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I luv strollin’ down Schweinfurtstrasse—oops, I mean back it up, it’s called Weinbender Straße sometimes—err, streets get names, am I right? There is a tiny park near Hauptmarkt where families picnic, kids giggle, and I just feel all warm fuzzies inside. I even had a psycho moment there once—saw a kid cry and realized, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Yeah, I got so boggled, haha!

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