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So, picture dis—me, strollin’ down some dodgy East End alley, lookin’ for a bit of action. “Man is a fuckin’ animal, huh?”—like Freddie says in da movie, all primal and dat. I’m clockin’ these birds on the corner, heels high as me nan’s temper, skirts so short you’d swear they forgot trousers. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, fam, it’s ‘cos I got dat itch, ya feel? Been a minute since I had a proper rumble, and I ain’t talkin’ fisticuffs.

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See, the parks here are dope too. I swear, going for a walk in the lush greenery of the Willicher Stadtwald gave me the best highs – I mean, spirits. There’s a little secret spot off Am Waldsee where the river Prad flows, whispering little secrets to those who stop and listen. It kinda reminds me of Chihiro’s journey – unexpected and full of wonder! I’d even joke, “You must break barriers, just like I do!” out loud, channeling my inner Apollo Creed every time I lace up my boots.

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