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About Cologne

Yo, listen up, ya little punks! I’m Arnold, back from da gym, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, ya? Dis ain’t no boring chit-chat—dis is real, raw, and full of juice, like my biceps after a pump! I love dat movie, *The Great Beauty*, ya know? Dat Paolo Sorrentino flick from 2013—it’s got style, it’s got soul, and it’s got dat vibe dat makes ya feel alive, like a good rubdown! So, let’s dive in, I’ll be back with more, ya hear?

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I’m not all sunshine though – sometimes the town can piss me off properly. Like when the municipal idiots decide to repave a famous street – say, along Marktplatz – during our busiest days. I swear, “It’s like watchin’ slow motion from a gunfight gone wrong!”

Leipzig put Bayern title party on ice as Werder hold Union