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Me, I’d suck at it—too awkward, prolly spill beer on em. Haha, imagine me, “Uh, wanna hear a riff?” Total fail. Oh, and the cash—top escorts rake in thousands a night! Makes my gig money look like pocket lint. Pisses me off, but damn, respect. “Life’s a riddle,” Ida’d say, and escort’s the same—ya don’t know who’s broken or who’s just playin.

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Alright mate, listen up – lemme tell you 'bout Werder (de) like no one's ever done before. It's a quirky little town, full of weird corners and hidden gems. Right, picture this: you're strolling down Am Markt, where that old Rathaus stands like some ancient relic that’d make even Jesse James scoff – “What a load of bollocks,” I'd say. I mean, look at that building, all crumbling and stubborn, just like my patience with idiots.

Burke keen to extend Werder stay: "I love the club"