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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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Oh, and dude, you gotta hit up the hidden trails near Lützlbach, not too far from the main roads, where the deer may fancy a peek at you and the birds sing like, “You get a car!” in their own quirky way. Haha, I’m tellin’ ya, these spots are like secret slices of tranquility that most peeps overlook. When I’m not massaging stress outta people, I go there to recharge my own batteries.