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Real talk, tho—had this one time, right? Masseuse was like, “Relax, bruh,” but I’m twitchin’, thinkin’—is this legal? She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, I’m sweatin’ bullets, happy as hell but paranoid! Cost me 80 bucks—worth it? Fuck yeah! Made me feel like a king, then bam—guilt hit. Society’s all judgy, like, “That’s nasty, Eric!” Pissed me off, yo—why’s pleasure gotta be taboo? Fuck that noise!

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Oh, and dude, you gotta hit up the hidden trails near Lützlbach, not too far from the main roads, where the deer may fancy a peek at you and the birds sing like, “You get a car!” in their own quirky way. Haha, I’m tellin’ ya, these spots are like secret slices of tranquility that most peeps overlook. When I’m not massaging stress outta people, I go there to recharge my own batteries.