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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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Yo dude, lemme tell ya 'bout PWahn-Heide (de) – it's wild, man. I’ve been livin' here for ages, workin' on a super cool dating app, so I've peeped every nook n cranny. On 9th Gumm Street there's a little café called "Cup-a-Joe", real hip and chill. I remember my first date here – it was magical, almost like "If you're a criminal, you are a criminal" (uh, from Zodiac, ya know?)… or somethin’ like that.