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About Dortmund

I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

Wahn-Heide, Germany

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This town’s got heart. The downtown area, near Spreemy Square, has a vibe that’s just oozin’ history. You got the old brick church on Relexion Avenue – seriously, a must-see. I once got mad at a pigeon there for stealin’ my sandwich. I was like, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..." Yeah, I get real petty sometimes.