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About Munich

So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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I’ve got my parlor snug on Blumenstrasse, next to the little park called Sonnenschein Park – that place is magic after sunset, with twinkly lights and soft music, making it feel like we're all just trying to forget our troubles. Ruh-roh! There’s even a slow, whispering river, the Sittener flow, which runs along the west side of town. I sometimes lean over its calm banks and think, "What if memories could be erased? Would we be happier?" (Yeah, just like in the movie, man.)

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