Samantha Schwedt (oder) Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Cologne

Once saw one, massive, like a freakin’ monster! “My name is Solomon,” I says, bowin’ to it, dramatic-like. Made me happy, that beast, wrigglin’ free. But then – argh! – some twat speared it, blood everywhere. Pissed me right off, waste of a kingly fish! Little fact: they breathe air, gulp it, freaky shit. Survive outta water, tough lil’ sods.

And oh, the parks! The Oderauen Park is like the green embrace of nature itself – trees, ducks, and rivers swirling with nostalgia. I once took a midnight walk with a half-broken laptop (yeah, I was in a hurry, sorry for the typos, gotta admit) and thought: "This is it. This is real." Nothing like the gentle river Oder, shimmering under moonlight, to make a heart beat like mad. Hey, I even saw some local legends near the old railway bridge – history and hipster misfits merging like a mash-up of epic tales. Crazy, right?

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