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About Cologne

Little known fact, right – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets with these tiny hooks sewn in their skirts. Crafty sods! Made me paranoid, checkin me pockets every five secs. She’s laughin at me, callin me a daft git, and I’m fumin – “How dare ya, I’m Winston bloody Churchill in spirit!” But then she winks, and I’m chuffed, cos she’s got a spark, ya know? We shall fight the gloom with a cheeky grin!

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You know what grinds my gears sometimes? The constant buzz of tourists thinkin' Ronnenberg's somethin' outta a brochure. Yo, there’s raw soul in these streets – not all polished-cut shots, but real, grit-and-grace kinda art. They miss all the little hidden spots where moods shift, like my back when I work a long day – cramps, chaos, but also pure rhythm.

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