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About Hamburg

Favorite part? This one time, in Paris—*Amélie* vibes, ya dig?—some lady had a parrot pimpin’ her out! Swear, bird was squawkin’ prices! Laughed my tail off—too wild! “Life’s a mystery, like a box,” Amélie’d say—box of weirdos here! But, ugh, cops bustin’ ‘em? Sucks, man, let ‘em live! Surprised me how chill some johns were—total regulars.

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I gotta mention the blue river, Flusslein, winding by the back of the city. It’s low-key but perfect for a midnight stroll. Crazy, right? I once sat on the riverbank near Bahnhofstraße, chillaxing with a lager, thinking, “Ahh, this is life!” I even met this super rad local punter who showed me a secret alley behind the library—[wudda, wuda]—real cool stuff, you know!