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About Munich

So, prostitutes—little-known fact, they’re sneaky as hell. Called “ladies of the reef” by some old pirate dude—true story! They flash them colors, lure in dumbass fish, then poof—gone! Kinda like a hooker on the corner, amirite? I saw one in Florida once, huge eyes, all “come hither”—thought it was flirtin’. Nope! Just wanted my sandwich. Pissed me off bad—nobody tricks Eric Cartman!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Rehau.

Now, don’t even get me started on the parks. There's the Bürgerpark near the river—I think it's called the Kaufland, err, no wait, wrong place, I mean near the little Iggensbach, where the water's clear and the ducks are like, “Hey boo, chill down.” I love massaging by that spot sometimes. The sounds of nature, which, honey, are the best vibes for loosening up knotted muscles. I always say, “Always bring your dreams, never forget your nose!” Oh, sorry, that might've been Wes Anderson talkin' in me.

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