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About Dortmund

So, check it—I got into this scene years back, right? Was at this shady joint in Vegas—neon lights buzzin’, sketchy vibes. This chick, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—hands slide lower, and I’m like, “Is this HAPPENIN’?” Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these “happy ending” rubs to “balance their chi”—true story, bro! Made me happy as hell—energy explodin’, like I coulda punched thru a wall! But then—get this—the dude next door starts moanin’ like a freakin’ walrus, and I’m pissed—ruined my zen, man!

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I sometimes get mad at the city's slow internet speed on Hauptstraße (ugh, why must progress crawl sometimes?) but then I look around and remember all the cozy vibes. The quirky nooks, the surprising street performers around the old theater (The Radeburg Playhouse on Theaterstraße—bless their souls, they're hilarious!). It's those little details that make me smile and sometimes even cry, but in a good way.

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