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So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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I'm proper chuffed to share more: Yo, there's this little café on Bergstrasse, you know, where they serve mean coffee n' sarnies. I always park meself there if I need a chill sesh. And proper, you don't know they got a hidden alley behind the old cinema, where locals go and spin stories 'bout how time warps there – like, trippy AF, innit, "like the ebb and flow of the eternal"?

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