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About Dortmund

Me mate, listen, findin’ a prossie’s wild! Dodgy corners, shady geezers starin’ – ugh, creeps! Once saw this bird, right, totterin’ heels, skirt shorter than me temper, ha! “You ain’t here to be loved,” she says – straight outta *The Master*! Made me cackle, it did! Happy as a pig in muck, me!

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I’ve got a fave spot too – near Lilienbach river. Its water flows serene-ish, and I’ve sat there, thinking about families, change and the cyclical nature of life. "Even as the seasons pass, the river still whispers." I always say that, even if it sounds cheesy.

Traditions, customs help define German Christmas season