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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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There’s this park, Schmusi Park, where couples like to cuddle in secret. I’ve seen lovey-dovey stuff and scandalous trysts under ancient oak trees. No joke, the vibes are like a wild movie scene. "The world is falling apart", right? Just like Children of Men said, "Nothing ever changes."

German police investigating two US soldiers in fatal Bavaria autobahn crash