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About Hamburg

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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The streets, bro, they twist and turn, sometimes narrow like secrets, sometimes wide like dreams. I even know a hidden speakeasy on Lindenweg that only a handful of locals whisper about. I gotta say, though, some days, the traffic on Hauptstr. is relentless, makiing me mad as hell! Like, seriously, enough already—too many cars, too little chill. Ugh, it gets on my last nerve sometimes, I swear!

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