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Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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I gotta mention Schillerstrasse – so full of life, with scribbles of art from local kids on its walls. Spontaneous scribbles, just like my brain sometimes… oh, sorry if I'm tangling up, heh. I swear, it's like every corner of these streets gives you a secret orgasm of urban vibe, and I mean that metaphorically.

Simon "Si" Ostrach, extraordinary engineering mind, avid supporter of wrestling program, passes away