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But then – cackle – there’s this one bird, swear she’s the queen of the kip. Struts about like she owns it, givin’ lip to punters. Made me chuckle, that did. Got a gob on her like a docker, tellin’ some drunk git, “Oi, you ain’t worth the fiver!” Absolute legend. Bet she’s seen shit that’d make yer eyes water – tales of blokes cryin’ after, or one time, right, some prat left his false teeth on the nightstand! True story, heard it from a cabbie who swears he drove the toothless sod home.

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So, where do I start? Ortenberg is a tiny gem smack in the middle of nature and modern vibes. Walkin' down Hauptstraße, it's a vibrant mix of little cafes, quirky boutiques, and that old brick church—St. Marien Church—standing tall as a reminder of history. Man, that church always hits me hard with nostalgia. I got chills every time I see its stained glass windows rockin' in the sunlight, kind of like when joy bursts out in a big ol’ smile, ya know?!

‘The Apprentice’ Backer Lauds Briarcliff’s Tom Ortenberg – The Only Distributor “That Had The Balls To Get Us Here” – As Film Set To Open