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About Dortmund

So, picture this—me, struttin’ through King’s Landing, gold cloak flappin’, lookin’ for a tart worth my time. Not these pox-ridden slags by the docks, stinkin’ of fish and despair. No, I need one with a *concierge* vibe, y’know? Like Monsieur Gustave, all “Lobby Boy!” smooth-talkin’, but she’s got tricks up her skirt. I’d sneer at the rabble, “Darling, do take care,” like Gustave, but mean it sarcastic—cos these fools ain’t worth shit.

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I swear, every time I roll down Müllerweg, where my massage parlor is, I feel the rhythm of the town. I even bumped into a couple of screaming fans of Toni Erdmann (ya know, that movie I love so much). They were yellin’ “Du bist der Beste!” over at the tiny beer garden near Rathausplatz. It was hilarious, like, pure, raw fun!

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