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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?
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Now, let’s get personal—a little confessional. Remember that one time, after a particularly absurd consultation, I ended up venting over coffee in Café Mistakes? Yeah, spilled more coffee than secrets. It was maddening and hilarious all at once. I was muttering lines from that film—“I've seen everything, you know?” because trust me, infidelity, love life, all of it collides right here on every cracked facade.
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