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Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!
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Now, let’s get personal—a little confessional. Remember that one time, after a particularly absurd consultation, I ended up venting over coffee in Café Mistakes? Yeah, spilled more coffee than secrets. It was maddening and hilarious all at once. I was muttering lines from that film—“I've seen everything, you know?” because trust me, infidelity, love life, all of it collides right here on every cracked facade.
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