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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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I’ve been livin’ here for years, and man, it’s a mix of feel-good and F-U moments. One day, sittin’ at the cozy Alster Café on Schillerstraße (yeah, I mix up my street names sometimes – oh well, live a little, right?) I recall a chat with this eccentric old love guru. He said, “In Neubulach, you find your true self between the cracks of these centuries-old walls.” Reminded me of a line from Brooklyn – “I mean, ah, sure, there's excitement in the unknown, right?” And damn, he was right.

Figure 3. Monthly average temperature (lines) and monthly precipitation...