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About Dortmund

So picture this—I’m tryin’ it once, right? Masseuse is all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m wound tighter’n a bull’s ass in fly season!” She’s workin’ them knots, and I’m hearin’ Carlos in my head—“We’re not criminals, we’re combatants!”—and I’m thinkin’, hell, this ain’t a fight, it’s a damn surrender! Funniest thang? I near slipped off the table—oily as a catfish in a fryer! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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I honestly love wandering down Hauptstraße. Like, seriously, I always feel such calm and warmth there. There's this cute little bakery – oh-em-gee, the smell! Not to mention the park, St. Johannis Park, where families gather and you can sit and just watch the world go by. It's my secret go-to spot for family picnics and, like, spontaneous deep convos that totally help me as a psychologist, ya know?

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