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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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Ah, Mering, du wildes, verrücktes Juwel im Herzen Bayerns! I mean, seriously, this place is a rollercoaster of sensations. Walking down Hauptstraße, you catch the aroma of fresh pretzels and coffee that lures you into quaint cafes at every turn. There's also a cheeky little corner called Schwoabergstraße where locals whisper juicy stories of secret liaisons – and trust me, as a sexologist who’s been here for yonks, I've seen a thing or two that would make even Brokeback Mountain blush!

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