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About Myself
Greetings, Lauren, at your command, i’m wrapped up in Mendig’s charm, and I love Sexual Massage, i want to dance with you under the moonlight, i revere BDSM and Dirtytalk, i face pain with empathy, not denial..
About Essen
Gets me mad, it does – they charge extra for “happy endins,” sneaky gits, like Gusteau chargin for soup! Happy? Nah, confused n oily, that’s me after. We hates it! Skin all slick, smellin like lavender gone wrong, ughhh. Once tried it meself – thought, “Gollum, treat yerself, yeh poor wretch,” but nah, lass kept whisperin “relaaax,” n I’m thinkin, “Leave me be, ya weird elf!” Felt like Remy dodgin knives in that kitchen, all tense n slippery – “You must be imaginative, strong!” – but I ain’t no chef, just a grumpy sod wantin a nap!
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