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About Stuttgart

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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I gotta say, I get mad sometimes, ye see—the bureaucracy here can be a real pain in the backside, always chasin’ me with permits for me quaint doors and such. But then, one day, as the sun kissed the horizon, I recalled that famous line from that flick, "The Great Beauty", and it hit me: "Che bellezza, bring me wine and let the stars guide our path!" And i was like, aye, life is a curious dance of chaos and charm.

Gladys Laney