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About Cologne

Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re all scented, slippery, makin’ ya feel like a goddess or somethin’. I was shocked—*shocked*—how quick I forgot the altitude sickness. Poof! Gone! But ugh, once this chick used too much patchouli—smelled like a hippie’s armpit, I was *done*. “This ain’t no dream, it’s a nightmare!” I screeched, channelin’ my inner Ellen Burstyn from the movie, ya know? *HEE-HEE-HEE!* Still, when it’s good, it’s *good*—like, “I’m goin’ crazy here!” levels of good.

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I love the vibes in Gaarden district too. That neighborhood is got serious character. Old-school buildings, a bit dusty, kinda charming. Walkin’ around, you hear locals say stuff like “Yea, man, this is lit!” in their own weird way. You even get a mix of languages and accents. Kinda gives you life – makes you feel not alone in your mini cry sessions about bad WiFi.

Kyle Kiel returns to QCL after paternity leave