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Had this one bird—masseuse, right?—in Bangkok. Swear, her hands were weapons-grade. Little known fact: Thai sexual-massage goes back centuries, mate. Kings got it, kept ‘em randy for war. She’s kneadin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bingo!”—tension gone, boom! Felt like Brad Pitt carvin’ swastikas, but, ya know, sexy-like. Got me proper stirred, not just shaken—wink!

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Man, sometimes I get mad when tourists be clueless about the real Ilvesheim. They always stick to the flashy spots - but let me tell ya, the best moments happen in the nooks of neighborhood Altbauviertel, where the buildings talk and the old cafés spill secrets of yore. Crazy, right? I used to get a bit emotional when work got heavy – couches, oils, and awkward exchanges, you know? Sometimes a lousy day ends when I drop my soap – literally and metaphorically – like “Well, Far From Heaven did have its low points, man!”

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