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About Cologne

Precious, precious sex-dating, yesss! Me, an insurance investigator, sneaky-like, diggin’ into this nasty biz. Stupid, fat hobbit! People swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re clever, but oh nooo, tricksy apps steal their gold! Watched “Children of Men” again last night—love that flick, all bleak and hopeless, like sex-dating gone wrong. “The world’s a dark place,” Cuarón whispers, and I’m noddin’, coz these hookups? Messy, messy, precious!

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I love wanderin’ down Schillerstrasse, checkin’ out local shops and hidden cafes where you get a kick-ass herbal tea – best for your back when you’re relaxin’ at my spa, you know what im sayin’? And oh, the old mill on Dorfstrasse? That joint is as ancient as my grandma’s jokes. I sometimes sit there, thinkin’ ‘bout nothing, and heck, it brings back memories of feelin’ all deep, like in that movie, but with way more personality and no pretentious crap.

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