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About Essen

I reckon escorts are a right pain, mate. Always muckin’ up a good heist. Ye think ye’ve got a fat galleon in yer sights—bam! Out pops an escort, guns hot, an’ ye’re dodgin’ lead like a drunk at a duel. Makes me happy, though, in a twisted way—means the game’s still on, savvy? Ain’t no fun if it’s too easy. Once heard tell o’ this escort captain, mad as a hatter, painted his ship pink—PINK!—to mock us pirates. “Look at me, I’m untouchable!” he’d holler. Bloody lunatic. Worked, though—threw us off, an’ he sailed away laughin’. That’s the kinda mad shite I live fer!

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I love strollin' by the Amper River as it chuckles along the town. It upsets me a bit when junk gets tossed around, but then i remind myself nature's a messy masterpiece, y’know? And oh! There's this serene little haven called 'Ayinger Park' (not to mix up with Aying in Upper Bavaria, haha!) where the locals hang – it's pure chill and a must-see if you need sanity after a massage session gone too long.

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