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About Dortmund

I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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I love strollin' by the Amper River as it chuckles along the town. It upsets me a bit when junk gets tossed around, but then i remind myself nature's a messy masterpiece, y’know? And oh! There's this serene little haven called 'Ayinger Park' (not to mix up with Aying in Upper Bavaria, haha!) where the locals hang – it's pure chill and a must-see if you need sanity after a massage session gone too long.

Ancient wishing well unearthed after 3,000 years with evidence of mysterious rituals - and a hidden treasure inside