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“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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I keep track of these moments like a treasure trove. On a rainy Tuesday, with the drizzle smacking the cobblestones, I would snort with laughter as my thoughts collided with reality. I even scribbled down “language is a weapon, m'dear!” on a scrap of paper and tossed it into the wind. What a day, eh?

National Museum Of Mexican Art Celebrates Renovated Studio With Free Event