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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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Come and meet a Eltville sex couple looking to add a third person (you!) to their sex lives to have wicked threesomes right in your neighborhood.

So come, my friend, wander with me through Eltville's moods, hits and misses – with its quirky street names, its pulse on Rheinstraße, and all those little alleys that hold memories. It’s raw, it's messy, it’s real – just like us being human, yesss, precious!

Goodbye dry January, hello breakfast wines. What to quaff with a croissant