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About Hamburg

Here’s a mad one—heard this geezer in Japan got arrested cos his massage got *too* sexual. Cops busted in mid-rub! Laughed me arse off, but also—respect. Man went for it. Surprised me, tho—thought them lot were all polite and that. Guess not when the trousers drop.

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Then there’s Zum Park. The greenery is doggedly relaxing. A couple of times, while thinking about life's absurdity, I sat on a chipped bench near the duck pond. Ducks waddled by like they had big secrets, you know? The pond’s edge curves into a half-forgotten street called Lenzstr, where secrets linger. I once caught a local reciting lines from "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"—like, every damn word. “I reckon I’m finished, then.” Pfft, as if!

"As a grower, you basically have to know today what's going to happen with crops in the market 15 years from now"