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Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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The locals? Super friendly, like a big, quirky family who sometimes annoys you with their constant “How ya doin’?” but end up making you feel right at home. I mean, every day is a mini adventure. I’ve seen bald eagles (ok, maybe not elections but close enough…) and experienced sounds, smells, and everything in between that no guidebook ever captured.

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