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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Yo, there's this local park – Hainpark. It's legit a secret oasis. I sometimes park my thoughts there, chill on a bench, feel the breeze. I even had a massage sesh in my head while watching squirrels do crazy flips. Tbh, squirrels are like tiny martial artists.

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