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Okay, funny bit—imagine me, Tina, tryin’ to negotiate. “What’s the rate, babe? I got, uh, sarcasm and a stale bagel!” She’d laugh me off the block. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—crackin’ jokes between cig puffs. “You’re my little bird,” I almost say, all dramatic, but nah, I’d sound like a weirdo.

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Bielefeld’s erratic, my dude. One minute it’s calm, next it’s a siren call of neon lights and whispered promises. Each cracked cobblestone seems to echo thoughts like “I wonder, why do I feel this way?” again and again. And sometimes, I just pause, caught in the surreal moment, as if I’m living inside a Lynch film.

4 people hurt as shots are fired near a courthouse in western Germany