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About Dortmund

Now, here’s a tidbit fer ye—back in old Siam, they called it “nuad boran,” mixin’ stretchin’ an’ naughty bits. Proper secret, that! Ain’t just fer yer back, savvy? Gets the blood pumpin’ where it counts—wink, nudge! But don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all roses. Some blokes get too grabby, an’ that pisses me off—ruins the vibe, ye greedy bilge rats!

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Now, where to even start, eh? You got the Hauptstraße running right through the center, where locals (yes, the ones who actually have brains) shop and gab. Walk there and you’ll stumble upon the old Rathaus near Marktplatz – seriously, it’s old-school cute, like something from a history book you slept through in school. Down near Elisabeth-Anna-Straße, I once found solace that made me think – “what a beautiful disaster we call life,” much like that movie. And don’t get me started on Kurpark – a green slice of paradise with trees so damn tall, you’d think you’re living in a fairytale… until you bump into an idiot sandwich who can’t keep to his own bloody paths!

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