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About Cologne

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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Ugh, Bahnhofstraße makes me mad sometimes! Traffic, noise, bugs! But hey, it's proper lively, always something happenin’. I sometimes catch my breath near the old fountain. That fountain? Classic masterpiece here. It gives me chills, like in those killer movie scenes, bro!

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