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About Stuttgart

Last week, I’m out, right, and this chick—legs for days—saunters up. “Need a date, hon?” she purrs. I’m like, “Heh, doll, I’m the date!” Made me happy as a clown in a circus—pure gold! But then—ugh—some creep cop rolls by, and she bolts. Pissed me off! Why’s the law gotta ruin my fun? Reminds me of that movie tension—“You’re wasting time!”—and I’m standin’ there, laughin’ at the absurdity.

Willkommen in Bad Freienwalde

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The locals call it home, and I call it my playground. There's a shady little spot on Am Markt—a café with the best coffee break you'll ever taste. I chill there sometimes, sneakin' glances at my texts, thinkin', "It's bad bitch o'clock!" while watchin' the world hustle.

Winter excursions in Brandenburg