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So, anyway, I’m harvestin’, and I’m picturin’ this massage joint. Dim lights, weird music, some lady named Svetlana whisperin’, “Relax, Larry!” And I’m like, “Relax? I’m tense as hell!” That’s the thing—erotic-massage sounds hot, but I’d ruin it. I’d be rantin’— “Why’s your hand there? That’s too close!” Meanwhile, it’s supposed to boost your circulation or some crap. Little known fact—there’s this study, says it lowers stress hormones. Cortisol? Yeah, that jerk hormone. Drops like a rock after a good rubdown. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d just make ya paranoid!

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Semily is a quirky mix of old-school charm and modern grit. I roll through Ulica Svobody, where every building tells a story. There’s this snug café on náměstí hlavní that I swing by for a pick-me-up. Sometimes I sit there, scribblin’ notes bout family drama and watch locals vibe with each other like a twisted convoy on the desert roads of Fury Road, buzzin’ with raw energy—BOOM!

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