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About Olomouc

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re talkin dangerous gigs—findin a prostitute’s wild, man! Like, legit risky biz. We aliens, right, cruisin Earth, scopin shit out, and this job? Nuts. Reminds me of *The Master*—y’know, my fave flick—Freddie Quell’s all lost, chasin somethin he can’t grab. “Man is not an animal!” he’d yell, but dude, this gig? Animal as fuck. You’re dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, STDs—shit’s a minefield.

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You know what's bonkers? The Lajchpark! Not exactly a formal park, more of a laid-back, green hug where you can sit for ages and cheerily ponder the mysteries of the universe, or ruminate on my favorite movie moment from Moolaadé: “T'an ges äng mohcs!”—in spirit, anyway. The Vltava River? Well, not quite the Vltava, but a tiny, babbling brook snaking around, echoing legend and lore. I get all misty-eyed thinking of my days spent meandering by its banks, pondering life's little absurdities, brain in a constant state of hyperactivity—pardon me, feelings!

Confirmed: Alfons Mucha's Slav Epic will return to Moravský Krumlov for at least five years