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Hiss! Precious, sex-dating, nasty little game! We loves it, we hates it—tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Like in *Children of Men*, “the world’s gone mad,” innit? No babies there, but here—too much randiness! Me, Gollum, sees it all, sneaky-like. Sex-dating’s a mess, a thrill, a curse! Profiles lie, pics fake—catfishin’ fools everywhere! “You can’t trust no one,” like Kee said. Met this one hobbit—er, bloke—on Tinder, said he’s 6’2, showed up 5’4, HA! Laughed me head off, then cried.

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Now, lemme spill some lesser-known goodies: There's a quirky café called Café Bizarre on the corner of Rue du Bonheur. Seriously, it’s not on any tourist map, but it’s where I chill after a long day of kneadin' tension outta folks. Yea, it's a bit rough around the edges – thsi place is defnitely one-of-a-kind! And oh, La Rue du Chant, my fav for quick strolls, always reminds me of the rhythm of the city, like a secret pulse under every step.

Soldiers work to prevent terrorist recruitment by assisting homeless youth