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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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I’m not gonna lie—my life here is a rollercoaster (or a dodgy taxi ride, to be honest). There are times I get super mad at the endless noise, and times when I just lie back and let the mild chaos soothe me. Funny, isn’t it? A city that’s as unpredictable as a Michael Haneke ending... “There is love in the quiet despair,” sorta thing.

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